Broken People
by Tsiuq
Summary: Some people get dead flowers from their loved ones. Shinji kills two guys for Asuka. This is where I'll put my NGE oneshots.
1. Chapter 1

AN: Since I've been getting a lot of (justified) negative reveiws on this first chapter, I'm editing it.

oh yeah, I don't own NGE or any of that stuff.

Broken People

Misato stared at the computer screen. "This is only numbers. Translate for me, Ritz."

"It means there may have been some cross contamination between Shinji and the Eva. Or it may be nothing, a sunspot, or after effects of the angel that took over the magi. Whatever the cause, it's small. I just want you to watch him, make sure nothing unusual is going on."

"What if he is contaminated? we don't have a lot of options."

Ritsuko sighed. "I know. We'll talk to Fuyutsuki if that time comes."

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_Three months later..._

The walk home from school started normally. The second child spurned the ground upon which she strode, and the third child walked to the side and a bit behind. It doesn't pay to be in the way of the red devil. The silence between them was neither awkward, nor companionable. There was simply nothing to say. School was the same, day in day out. Angel slaying was something they'd rather not talk about. And so, as they passed through a deserted complex, the first words they head were made by their attackers. The two men were large, muscular, yet overweight. They slipped out of the alleys before and after the young pilots.

"Looks like we caught some kids, Unko."

"Not much fun in em, except maybe the girl. I bet she'll scream real nice."

The pilots stood back to back as soon as the men appeared. When the last syllable fell from Unko's mouth, Shinji let out a roar and charged his opponent. _'He's going to get himself killed'. _Asuka mentally sighed. She lunged forward and hit Kira hard in the gut. The large man wheezed, but swung his fist with surprising speed. Even as Asuka ducked, the punch glanced of the top of her head. She stumbled to the side a bit, then heard a sickening snap behind her. When she turned towards the sound, Kira charged. Asuka looked back, but too late to dodge. A black and white blur slammed into the charging man. Kira fell on his back with Shinji perched on his chest. With a savage jerk, the third child broke the man's neck. Asuka stared at her classmate in horror. Shinji was panting, a feral grin marring his face.

"Sh-Shinji?"

At the sound of his name, the teen shook his head. When he opened his eyes, it was the same old Shinji Ikari, a little dazed.

"What happened?" he mumbled.

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Asuka had trouble sleeping that night. In the morning, she was waiting for Misato at the kitchen table. Misato listened to the story with a mixture of surprise, worry, then pride.

"I don't see what the problem is. You'll just need an escort to and from school."

"Don't you see? That could have been me! You know how often I punch the third. All this time, he could have killed me!"

"Have you considered… being nice to him?"

"Nice? But what if he does something perverted?"

"Honestly, when has he ever done something perverted?"

"Once he… er, and I was… um… he could have looked at me when I was changing or during that one test."

"But he didn't. We have it on camera. Anyways, weren't you the one who kissed him?"

Asuka sputtered. "How do you know that?"

Misato smirked. "NERV has the entire apartment bugged. Anything you say is recorded for future use."

Asuka blushed in anger and embarrassment. Then a thought struck her. "He… hasn't ogled me when he could have… is he gay?"

For once, Misato was unsure. "I don't know. I'll test it out."

The redhead looked at her questioningly. Shinji shuffled in, sleepily greeting the two women. Carefully aligning herself with Ikari's line of sight, Misato slowly leaned over and picked up a food wrapper left lying on the table from the night before. Shinji's eyes widened, and he quickly turned away and blushed. Misato winked at Asuka. "Guess not."

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The children left, unusually silent. Misato sighed, then reached for the phone. "It's happened. "

Long after the call ended, she stared at the empty apartment, brooding as only she could. She rose with a grunt, and prepared for a long day.

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"… and then he just snapped out of it."

Hikari looked thoughtful for a moment, then smiled. "That's quite a torch he's carrying."

"What? No way."

"Shinji killed two full grown men for you. Count yourself lucky."

Asuka buried her face in her hands.

"Why can't he give me dead flowers like everyone else?"

Hikari patted her on the shoulder. "Because he's not like everyone else, and neither are you."

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'_Nice. I can do nice.' _Asuka did not like walking home with a killer, even one that liked her. _'Here goes nothing.' _

"SO, how was your day?" Asuka sounded fake even to herself.

"… Same old same old. And yours?" Shinji figured polite was the way to go with volatile females. It's harder to take offense at politeness.

"It was okay."

Silence.

"So… what is it that you listen to all the time?"

"Pink Floyd." Shinji noticed the look of non-recognition on Asuka's face. "An English band from before the second impact."

"I didn't know you liked foreign stuff."

"It takes some getting used to, but it can be quite… fascinating."

Asuka was silent for a moment. Did he mean…? She glanced to the side and saw Shinji was blushing, slightly. FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON (she told herself) she suddenly felt rather happy.

"If… you ever need help with school work, I may help you. But I won't let you copy!" Asuka was magnanimous in victory. Shinji was surprised. "Thank you, Asuka."

"On one condition: You must address me as Asuka-sensei."

Shinji rolled his eyes. "Yes, o omniscient one."

"Oooh! Good idea, Shinji. You'll call me that instead."

"Whatever."

Asuka punched him in the arm, then grabbed his hand.

_'It's better than fearing for my life. I can do this.'_

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Fuyutsuki stood outside Gendo's door, uncertain. This man had abandoned his son before; it is all too possible the young Ikari will end up dead. Still, the child had been useful, and more importantly to Gendo, easily manipulated. A deep breath, and he pushed the door open.

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Misato waited in a lobby, sipping the freshly dispensed juice. Too sweet; always too sweet. But that was how it was in Tokyo 3; too sweet, or too bitter. She turned at the measured tread only found among the older military. The young ones were too hurried.

"The commander considers it an asset."

"An asset? How could the occasional urge to kill be an asset?"

"He's less likely to die. The commander also expects higher sync. scores."

"Is the Ikari family destined to madness?"

Fuyutsuki looked away. "It might be that madness that we need."

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so I tried to make it more realisitc, and somehow, it got darker. coincidence? I think not.


	2. Chapter 2

Asuka awoke. After the fuzzy semi-conscienciousness that always follows sleep, she remembered what day it was._ 'mmm. Saturday.' _that thought triggered a hazy memory of Shinji. He was talking about a friend of his. And Saturday. Or something. Asuka dismissed the thought with a shake of her head. The tired teen shuffled to the kitchen table. There was a note.

_"Asuka I will be helping a friend move today, so you are on your own for lunch.  
Breakfast is in the oven. Misato says she'll be at work today. Sorry.  
-Shinji"_

Asuka cracked open the door to the oven. The heavenly smell of pancakes, scrambled eggs, and sausage wafted out. "Third knows how to apollogize." She thought approvingly. She scurried to her room and snagged her still-warm blanket. Safely warded against the morning chill, the pilot strode to the table, and set about feeding herself.

Asuka made for her favored perch: the couch. A few quick button presses later, the german girl was happily transported to the world of saves, guns, and explosions.

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The door opened suddenly. Asuka lowered her sandwich as Misato called from the threshold, "Shinji's in the hospital"  
Lunch was forgotten.

_'How could the baka have gotten hurt?' _Asuka stared blindly out the window. Then a scene intruded into her thoughts like a waking dream. A dirty man had a knife out. A girl that looked suspiciously like the first child shook with fear. Shinji jumps between them, pausing to pose heroically. He and the man circle, eying each other warily. The man lunges! Shinji reacts too slowly, the knife plunges into his stomach. Shinji pulls it out and stabs the man int he heart, bleeding profusely. The girl cries out desperately for an ambulance, but - "We're here." Announced Misato. Asuka laughed silently at the ridiculousness of the sequence that intruded on her thoughts. When they found Shinji, he was amicably chatting with Kaji, who sat in a chair, facing away from the door. Shinji looked up , and started with surprise. "Misato! And Asuka"  
"Don't flatter yourself." replied the girl. "I'm only only here to see if you'll be able to cook"  
Kaji twisted to greet the visitors. "Ah! Two lovely ladies! They're much better than the last nurse. Don't you agree, Shinji"  
"Kaji, the last nurse was a man"  
"Well, yes"  
"Wearing pink scrubs"  
"True, he was very effeminate"  
"He said that I should get better fast for 'my big guy.' "  
"Yeah, that was awkward"  
Misato cut in. "So what happened"  
"The nurse winked at me." replied Shinji.  
"No, I mean how did you get hurt in the first place"  
"I was helping Kaji move his couch down the stairs when it slipped out of my hands. One of the feet fell on my toe"  
"Ouch. Sounds rough"  
Asuka risked a look at the toe in question. Then she turned away, trying to prevent her food from making a repeat performance. At that moment, a portly doctor walked in, carrying a towel and some instruments. "Sorry I'm late. I got tied up at the office. Here's what we're going to do. First I numb up to toe, then remove the toenail and clean the nail bed. Alright? Alright"  
Shinji clenched his eyes shut for the duration of the procedure. As the doctor wrapped the toe, he instructed the boy on the proper care of the toe. "... and having your girlfriend here kiss it better wouldn't be advisable"  
"I am NOT his girlfriend"  
"Besides, " said Shinji, "the way she kisses, it would just make it worse." Slap. "Baka"  
Meanwhile Kaji and Misato raised their eyebrows at each other. The doctor left the room.  
Asuka stood up."Let's go, Misato. The invincible Shinji is clearly well enough on his own"  
Misato left the room and sighed. "Kids."

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"You kept it?" Asuka exclaimed in disgust. Shinji smiled serenely. In his hand he held the recently unattached toenail. "Yes"  
Asuka was careful to stand an arm's length away from the boy. "It's my talisman against German violence"  
"You're sick, Third. You better not have it with you while cooking." "I think I'll make it into a necklace. I'll tuck it away when I cook"  
"Uugh. You are so gross"  
They took off their outside shoes and slipped them into their school lockers. In their homeroom, Asuka immediately started ranting to a nausiated Hikari. Kensuke and Touji expressed their sympathies in their respective peculiar ways. Shinji didn't tell them about the toenail, so he couldn't really explain why he was so happy about the situation. Class started, and Shinji staved off boredom by chronicling the event in Paint. He had just finished the first stick figure when he got a message.  
AR: You have been damaged_  
IS: It's nothing much. The toenail had to be removed, though_  
AR: Why do you still have it_  
IS: To protect me from LA_  
AR: It must have a potent AT field_  
AR: Ikari?_  
IS: Don't make me laugh. I'll get in trouble_  
AR: Understood_

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AN: Somewhat inspired by a true story.


	3. Chapter 3

The commander gazed coldly from his desk. Ritsuko knew the psychological reasons why he had set up the office this way, but even so, she felt more than a little intimidated.

"The pilots' scores are slipping. Experiment, within reason. We can't afford to stagnation at this point. After all, the fate of the world truly rests on our shoulders. You are dismissed, doctor."

She bowed and slipped away, leaving the man to consider how dark his world was.

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Natural darkness fell, but one desperate woman sat in an oasis of light, the word processor mockingly blank for all the straining of her considerable mind. She cursed the fallible body of hers, its constant demands for rest going unheeded. It was then that inspiration struck, and in moments the screen flowed with elaborate and technical jargon to conceal the madness or brilliance of the proposal. With that, she retired to a nearby couch and passed out, far too weary to drive to her home.

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"You want us to sleep in the plugs?"

Ritsuko nodded.

"Tests indicate that synchronization is highest when higher thought processes are at a minimum. Sleeping while synchronized should bring you better rapport with your eva, and thus improve your waking synchronization."

Shinji's skin crawled at a certain memory.

"What if we… go over?"

Ritsuko avoided his eyes by pretending to write something on her clipboard.

"We'll wake you before then, rest assured."

She paused. "Literally."

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Misato wearily read over yet another sheet of paperwork. With a sigh she set to filling it out, only to be interrupted by someone politely coughing. Grateful for the interruption, Misato was surprised by the sight of Fuyutsuki-san.

"What can I do for you? Have a seat… err…" Misato began to rise to clear of one of the overloaded chairs, but he waved her back and chuckled. After a wary glance at the landscape of bureaucratic secretions, he opted to lean against the doorframe.

"That won't be necessary. I'm here to notify you of your… shore leave, if you will. You've been working too long. Take a break, enjoy life a little. I'll find someone to cover for you this month, alright?"

Misato almost didn't believe it. "You're giving me a month without paperwork, NERV duties, nothing?" She paused. "How are you still single?"

He chuckled once more. "These secret agencies kill them off. Maybe when I retire I'll get me a nice gold digger."

Misato laughed, then bid him farewell as he left. She looked around her office, then stuck her tongue out at the paperwork. "You can't catch me."

She went home humming.

Misato spent the first day in a beer saturated celebration. The second was a sight-seeing trip in the immediate area of Tokyo 3, visiting all the little shops and parks that had caught her eye, yet she had the time for. By the fifth day, Misato had exhausted all forms of entertainment, except one. Coincidentally, the children were scheduled for some strange series of sync tests that had them grumbling or blushing. So she didn't even have teasing the "lovebirds". In desperation, she played all sorts of board games against Penpen. He won every time. As the sixth day dawned, she was considering travelling further from Tokyo 3, but anywhere worth traveling to had disappeared in the second impact. Her savior from boredom appeared in the form of one Rei Ayanami at her door.

"I have been instructed to acquire a personality."

"Come in, then. Who sent you?"

"Ritsuko."

"Figures."

Misato sat down at the table that stillheld the remnants of her breakfast. Rei stood in the living room, patiently awaiting further instructions.

"Hm? Oh, sit down, make yourself at home."

She complied, and continued to stare attentively at Misato.

"You don't loosen up, do you?"

"I do not understand the question."

Misato sighed. This was going to take a while. She suspected this was the real reason for her sudden "shore leave".

"Never mind, it's not important. So… what do you like to do?"

"I do what the commander tells me."

Misato cracked her neck, then began a battery of tests that were quite different than those the pilots were familiar with.

"Let's see here… we ruled out cooking, cleaning, playing cello, smashing empty beer cans, couch forts, and listening to music."

"I like eating."

"I don't think that constitutes a healthy hobby."

"Understood."

Rei called out with the exact minimum volume required to reach Misato, who was rooting around in her room.

"I have found an unlabelled tape."  
Misato called back, "Put it in."

The older woman returned to living room, arms full of board games. Rei complied, then sat before the old television. Misato heard a series of groans and cuss words. In an instant, she dropped the boxes and turned the television off. Rei looked at her inquisitively.

"But I liked that video."

Misato sighed. "It figures. Forget about it, that stuff is only for older people, understand?"

"Yes."

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Asuka and Shinji returned home, tired and irritable. At least, Asuka was the latter.

"We're back!" she called out.

"Welcome home, Ikari, Soryu." replied Rei. Then she returned to a game of solitaire. Asuka glared at her. Then she threw her hands up in the air in angry surrender.

"You know what? I just don't care."

With that, she stomped off to her room. Shinji sat on the other side of Rei's game and watched her with an air of awkward curiosity. Misato emerged from her room, digging through her purse.

"I don't have much make up, but it should be enough to indicate preference. Ah, Shinji, welcome home. Where's Asuka?"

"Her room. She's had a long day. So what's Ayanami-san doing here? Not that I mind." He said with a bit of a blush.

Misato absently put her purse beside the girl.

"She's going to be a real girl! All she needs is a little magic from the bottle fairy, yours truly."

Rei concluded her game with a shake of her head, and then accepted the blush and lipstick from Misato. She applied them with a steady hand and a deft touch. After considering the effect in Misato's hand mirror, she shook her head again.

"Oh well. Say… since Shinji's here, let's try dancing!"

"What? I can't dance!" squawked Shinji.

His guardian smiled a tad evilly.

"Oh, that's alright. It's Rei's first time too. I'll show you, and you'll lead with Rei."

And so it was that Shinji learned to dance, blushing furiously as his hand rested on the scantily clad hip of the major. It was no less awkward and embarrassing with Rei, despite the lack of height difference. The way she just stared at him, completely unconcerned about her feet, unnerved him to say the least. The make up made her look almost normal, or at least more attractive, which did nothing for his coordination. Misato watched from the couch, a mysterious smile playing about her lips.

"So Rei, what do you think?"

"I like dancing."

"Ya hear that, Shinji? You're going to be doing this more!"

"I'm… happy I can help."

Truth be told, part of him was, he couldn't deny the appeal of the way dancing allowed physical contact with a girl of a sort he would never dare otherwise.

Misato's stomach chose that moment to growl, long and loud.

"Eh he he, maybe you should start making dinner?"

"Yes, Misato."

Rei trailed after the boy, then sat at the kitchen table, her eyes following his movements. He paused in the midst of chopping the vegetables, feeling her gaze upon him. He looked at her, and she just stared back. He returned to chopping with a shrug. Misato joined her project at the table. After a few moments, she followed Rei's eyes and joined her in staring. Asuka entered the room in a more comfortable set of clothes. She stopped when she saw the two staring, looked at Shinji, and then sat beside the major. Out of curiosity, she kept her eyes on the boy, but whispered out of the side of her mouth.

"What are we doing?"

"I don't know. I saw Rei doing it, and I wanted to see what was so interesting."

"Wondergirl is messed up."

"Yes."

Shinji stirred the meat in the pot, and when her turned to retrieve the vegetables, he saw the three women watching him.

'_It feels like I'm cooking for a harem of stalkers. I had no idea everyone was so hungry.' _

Rei turned to Misato.

"This isn't what you showed me for cooking."

"Hey, I'm the breadwinner, not the breadmaker. Though, in retrospect, I shoulda had Shinji do that part of your education."

Asuka put her head down in her arms.

"I just wasted ten minutes of my life watching the baka. This place is becoming a madhouse."

Misato nudged her. "Yes, but it is a madhouse of fun!"

Asuka just groaned.

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The second child awoke late Sunday morning. The shower revitalized her somewhat, but did not prepare her for the sight of Shinji awkwardly dancing with Misato.

"-two, three, four. Come on Shinji, once you get the rhythm down, it's easy."

"S-sorry."

"Hmm… let's get Rei up here instead. I don't know how I can expect you to concentrate with so much to distract you."

She said this while considering her chest with a false air of preoccupation. Shinji turned beet red and let go, opening and closing his mouth for a few seconds before finally uttering a subdued "Yes."

Asuka entered the living room and leaned against the wall.

"It's like watching a gender-switched rendition of Lolita."

Rei, rising to take Misato's place, asked, "Lolita?"

Misato flopped gracelessly on the couch.

"It's a story where a much older man seduces a teenager girl. Is it your favorite, Sauerkraut?"

Asuka scoffed. "Hardly. The old man was little better than spineless Shinji here. More importantly, what's for breakfast?"

Shinji's reply was uneven, as he went thought the dance steps with Rei.

"Cheese omelet and Rice. I put it in the oven, so it should still be warm."

Asuka shook her head.

"Someday, Shinji, you'll make a good wife."

With that she fell to answering her stomach's demands. Rei looked at Shinji with some uncertainty.

"If you are to be a wife, should I lead?"

The poor boy sighed.

"That won't be necessary."

"Understood."  
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Lilith shook her head at he boys choice.

'_He is such a masochist.'_

Still, he had not exited this possibility yet. The boy had run through a number of different universes, never staying in one for a long period of time. After a number of completely different lifetimes, he had returned to variations of the root timeline, often without the angels, yet preparing for them. Lilith shook her head once more.

'_These are but stagnation. I can only hope he chooses to take responsibility for the human race before his sanity is lost.'_

And so she watched, filled with a mother's compassion and an angel's pity.


End file.
